If Jud drinks two (2) 20 oz. Diet Dr. Pepper's, one before and one during, a two hour conference call on regulatory compliance, how long until his bladder explodes? (please show your work)
Extra Credit:
1) If I were to leave my desk to visit the loo, how many seconds would it take before a senior manager would ask me a question on the call that I would then miss?
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
System(s) Failure
Technology of any sort, can be a delight, from the simplest machines to most complex bits of computerized automation. Heck, technology sent humankind to the moon but also sent other astronauts hurtling to their doom.
In my life, cars, cell phones, the cable box and computers are the bits of technology that frustrate me the most.
Cars I take for granted and expect them to work and reliably and get me from A-Z with gasoline, regular oil and other fluid changes and the odd tire replacement and brake job. But when the car is on the blink, then life changes remarkably. I am currently a one car enterprise, which is unusual. Normally I have the daily driver and then the former daily driver which is now the backup "hoop-dee". My daily driver is currently going through the change, and as I believe I have mentioned, I need a new daily driver. I will keep you posted.
Cell phones - oh, where to begin with this love/hate relationship? I like having a phone. I like the ability to communicate with family, a few friends and the local delivery food joints. Sadly, this is also the device that work uses to contact me at all hours of the day and night. And why does every dang app have to send me updates? Really? I want to use your service at my convenience and not be bombarded with every little tidbit that CNBC and Politico think I have to know right this second. It goes without saying that I don't use Twitter, as I think it would make me even more mental.
The cable box that I had with DirecTV was a wonder. Easy for me to use, set up recordings, manage them, etc. Charter seems to have taken a different approach and wants me to curse at their silver box of frustration. And I really don't like getting up to retrieve the remote that I have thrown at it, either.
My job is really not supposed to be too technical, and yet everything I do revolves around systems I don't own (and programmers I don't manage) working properly. When one of them goes wonky, my world spirals out of control quickly. My email is bombarded. My phone rings. Text messages come a'flying.
Such is life I suppose.
In my life, cars, cell phones, the cable box and computers are the bits of technology that frustrate me the most.
Cars I take for granted and expect them to work and reliably and get me from A-Z with gasoline, regular oil and other fluid changes and the odd tire replacement and brake job. But when the car is on the blink, then life changes remarkably. I am currently a one car enterprise, which is unusual. Normally I have the daily driver and then the former daily driver which is now the backup "hoop-dee". My daily driver is currently going through the change, and as I believe I have mentioned, I need a new daily driver. I will keep you posted.
Cell phones - oh, where to begin with this love/hate relationship? I like having a phone. I like the ability to communicate with family, a few friends and the local delivery food joints. Sadly, this is also the device that work uses to contact me at all hours of the day and night. And why does every dang app have to send me updates? Really? I want to use your service at my convenience and not be bombarded with every little tidbit that CNBC and Politico think I have to know right this second. It goes without saying that I don't use Twitter, as I think it would make me even more mental.
The cable box that I had with DirecTV was a wonder. Easy for me to use, set up recordings, manage them, etc. Charter seems to have taken a different approach and wants me to curse at their silver box of frustration. And I really don't like getting up to retrieve the remote that I have thrown at it, either.
My job is really not supposed to be too technical, and yet everything I do revolves around systems I don't own (and programmers I don't manage) working properly. When one of them goes wonky, my world spirals out of control quickly. My email is bombarded. My phone rings. Text messages come a'flying.
Such is life I suppose.
Monday, February 4, 2013
On Humor, Snarky Comments and being an Ass
The internet and its various methods of communicating to the world, whether publicly via Twitter or Facebook, privately in email, or semi-privately as on a blog such as mine can lead to issues.
In the past, on a former blog of mine, I got into it with a fellow blogger who read me the riot act for being a whingy middle class white dude with know idea of what life was really like. I had known this fellow online through our mutual blogs for a couple of years. He was very opinionated (I daresay even more than me) and more outspoken. He called me on the carpet. In retrospect, I think he was quite right. We continue to swap stories and communicate to this day. I value his insight into my little musings.
Another time a very smart and sassy teenager took me to task for what I thought was a humorous comment on her blog, and to which she took a few jabs at me. She was much more clever than I am witty and had quite a laugh or two at me.
It nice to have a certain anonymity here on the blog. I don't have many readers, and several that are know who I am. Maybe not well, but they at least know me. Some of them do know me, at least via my online presence on social media. A few I know in my daily existence. I would leave it to them to estimate if I am more or less myself on here or someone else altogether. I know that on social media I, like many others, try to craft a certain persona and only draw attention to those aspects of my life that I am proud of or want to share. I am sure that there is a lot in my life that they might have a prurient interest in but that I try to obscure and certainly would never publicize.
I can be snarky in my comments and posts, both here and elsewhere. Sometimes they are attempts at humor. Other times I may be an ass, whether intentionally or just because I haven't really thought through my actions. To quote Puck,
" If we shadows have offended,
2275Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream, 2280
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, 2285
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends."
In the past, on a former blog of mine, I got into it with a fellow blogger who read me the riot act for being a whingy middle class white dude with know idea of what life was really like. I had known this fellow online through our mutual blogs for a couple of years. He was very opinionated (I daresay even more than me) and more outspoken. He called me on the carpet. In retrospect, I think he was quite right. We continue to swap stories and communicate to this day. I value his insight into my little musings.
Another time a very smart and sassy teenager took me to task for what I thought was a humorous comment on her blog, and to which she took a few jabs at me. She was much more clever than I am witty and had quite a laugh or two at me.
It nice to have a certain anonymity here on the blog. I don't have many readers, and several that are know who I am. Maybe not well, but they at least know me. Some of them do know me, at least via my online presence on social media. A few I know in my daily existence. I would leave it to them to estimate if I am more or less myself on here or someone else altogether. I know that on social media I, like many others, try to craft a certain persona and only draw attention to those aspects of my life that I am proud of or want to share. I am sure that there is a lot in my life that they might have a prurient interest in but that I try to obscure and certainly would never publicize.
I can be snarky in my comments and posts, both here and elsewhere. Sometimes they are attempts at humor. Other times I may be an ass, whether intentionally or just because I haven't really thought through my actions. To quote Puck,
" If we shadows have offended,
2275Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream, 2280
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, 2285
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends."
As I court jester I fear I would have lost my head long ago.
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